I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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