Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
