He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
