What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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