I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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