guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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