mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
