I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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