You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Pooping to opera.
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