Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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