so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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