I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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