Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
