Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize