If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
