Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
