He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
