That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I wish my penis had an off switch
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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