I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
