After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
In America we eat man semen.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
