Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
