Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
