I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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