btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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