So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize