Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
