You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
