I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
