help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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