I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
