Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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