The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize