At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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