Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
