can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
