do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
