I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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