Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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