He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
