I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
