Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
