last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize