so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
