Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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