Someone shit on the floor
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Did I turn a man straight...??