Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.