mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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