Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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