a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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