wat bout pragnant strippers??
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
my nose is crying tears of wow.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
