brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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