ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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