so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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