Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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