I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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