Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
