I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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