I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just high enough for therapy.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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