my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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